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Shame Is A Liar

Writer's picture: Danielle CrawfordDanielle Crawford

SHAME IS A LIAR

It seems like once a year or so, I get this feeling of shame. Shame of who I used to be. Do you sometimes wish that you could go all Men-in-Black on the people in your life so that they would forget who you once were? I know I do.

Who I was before I came into a deep intimate relationship with Christ is not who I am now or who I want to be, but looking back in shame is not a feeling from God. God doesn’t want us to look at our past and feel regret or guilt; He wants us to look back only to see how far we have come.

The enemy loves to remind me of the girl I once was when I start to envision my future. When I start to daydream about one day using my voice to inspire, lead, and bless, he gives me a vivid mental image of me droppin’ it low on the dance floor. When I start to picture myself writing something worthy of reading and hopefully leading others to Christ, he shows me the girl who can’t stop at just one drink. When I type posts and blogs that are my innermost feelings and sometimes conversations with the Lord, Satan reminds me that I am no theological scholar.

Thankfully, my God is stronger than thoughts driven by the enemies tactics. He reminds me that although I acted a complete fool in my day, He was still there just waiting. He stood by with his arms wide open every time I ignored him and went out drinking. He gently whispered to me that He saw me when I felt like I had to be the over-the-top life of the party to be noticed. He held out the key to my prison cell when I chose to stay locked in it. He had the way out of the life I once knew and He waited patiently for me to take it.

I’m so humbled every time someone tells me that I have encouraged them in some way. Trust me when I say that it’s all of God’s glory every single time I start typing. I’ve always felt so strongly that I was meant for something great. Something I still cant even fathom. I can and will impact this world in some way. I will never let the lies of the enemy or the feelings of shame keep me from fulfilling the purpose God has on my life. I am strong in Christ. I am beautiful, whole, blameless and FORGIVEN. I hope that you feel the love of Christ every single day and that when the enemy tries to remind you of who you once were, you remind him just exactly who defeated him and you curse his name back to hell.

So while some friends would say that who I was- the crazy, loud, excessive drinking, cursing, party girl was their favorite thing about me, my true friends know and love this new person even more. Who I am now is just as fun, just as crazy, and just as lovable. I am made in His image, and my image is honed more and more each day. I will strive daily to reflect Jesus’s heart. While I am certainly not perfect, who I am is perfect to He who created me.

Do you wrestle with shame? Do you toss the idea around in your head that who you were will always be the way people see you? Shame is a liar. When you accept Christ as your savior, the old you is GONE, regardless of what is embedded in other people’s brains. What they think or remember of you simply doesn’t matter. It won’t take a huge announcement screaming “I AM DIFFERENT!” It won’t take a grand gesture to prove to people that you are no longer who you used to be. They will see it, not by your words but by your actions. But if we’re being super honest, what they think DOES NOT MATTER. Read that again. What people think about you doesn’t matter. You and your Heavenly Father know who you are and who you are becoming.

Don’t let shame scare you out of reaching for your dreams. I have huge dreams, but shame keeps me from sharing them. Shame tells me that I’m no better than I was a year ago. Shame is a lying thief, stealing dreams and joy. The thing about life is that as long as you are a better version of yourself than you were yesterday, you’re doing something right. We are meant to grow, to learn, and to never stop striving to be more like Christ every day. Being a Christian does not mean that we will never stumble. It doesn’t mean that we won’t have moments of weakness. But guess what? It doesn’t matter how many times we totally screw up or revert back to old habits, his mercy and his forgiveness are brand new every morning. Thank you LORD for your grace.



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